Guys and Girls guide to: Single but not Available people

you are at a club and you see this hot girl/guy dancing alone.  you walk up to this person and

strike a conversation.  you hit it off and then they tell you that he/she just broke up with their partner or that they were just dumped... that should be a big sign to STAY CLEAR of this person.... YES..he/she's single, BUT more or less still very hung up on the ex.  they might not be emotionally available to carry a potential relationship.

if your goal was just to have sex with this person..GO AHEAD by all means.  this person might jump you in a heartbeat even if you're the ugliest human being on earth..they're very vulnerable at this stage.

If you are attracted to this person to the point you're actually contemplating on a potential relationship -- that's where we're in a bind.

this could go wrong in a couple of ways for you... you might become:

• FISH BAIT -- this person could be luring you to make the ex jealous.  this is a classic. when the ex is finally jealous and asks the person back -- that's it for you buddy.. game over.
• ASPHALT -- you know those black things that cover the bumps on the road? yep... that's who you are at this point.  he/she is trying to show the world that they're happy and not hurting inside. masking all the real feelings
• ATM -- yep...they're just after you for the money.  they just need some benefactors.  someone to buy them anything they want or to drive them all over the place.
• AIRPORT -- basically a lay over.  you're the person that will help him/her move on and then they'll move on without you.  sooner or later they discover that they don't REALLY want to be with you and looks for a person that (usually) resembles the ex.
• FRIEND -- hhmm..well..do i still have to explain? they're just in need of a shoulder to cry on.  this is usually for guys.  you might think that there's something going on between the two of you, but sorry to say..you're still in the friendzone.
• ASS -- (for girls) yep, just a piece of ass that they can just hump on call.  they have to release all that bottled up jizz somewhere.  will do the next available stupid person.

how to avoid this?  here are SOME of the basic stop signs:

• when this first word that comes out of their mouth is -- "MY EX and I just broke up". shake his/her hand and run away as fast as you can.  if they don't have feelings for the ex thats not the first thing that they'll tell you.
• if he/she can't stop talking about their ex -- you'll be stupid if you think there's hope there.  if your entire conversation has atleast 25% stories about their past relationship..still very much hung up & you should hang up on this person too.
• "aaww..thats his/her favorite" -- whatever favorite stuff we're talking about here, there shouldn't be any kind of reaction towards that. 
• still wearing any kind of reminder of the past relationship -- wedding ring, engagement ring, necklace, earrings, pin, shirt, shoes...this only means that they haven't really moved on.  i know that they'll give you some kind of excuse, but believe me..its all crap!! (i have personally given a thousand excuses before)
• still have the exs picture in their phones/facebook/room --  you're just plain dumb or downright stupid if you believe any crappy explanation this person gives you.. "but i look good in that picture"  seriously?! you have a billion pictures in your facebook and you only look good in that one? if they really want to, that picture was taken down the moment they broke up.
• the ex is still on speed dial -- they can be really good friends but still he/she shouldn't be on speed dial.
• "i hate him/her. he/she ruined my life" -- any sort of anger is a sign that the person is still hurt.  the only way you'll get hurt is when you have feelings for this person.

some people may say that i am very cynical, but trust me am not.  i've been on ALL sides of this equation.  i more or less know how each person feels.  as the person who is falling in love with someone who is technically NOT available, you can always be there...BUT make sure that you stand your ground and set some boundaries.  never let your guard down, or else you'll just end up on the curb.    

Mo Twister -- The Bearer of Ugly Truth

DJ Mo Twister or Mohan Gumatay in real life is a local filipino dj.
He hosts a morning radio show on Magic 89.9 FM (Good Times with Mo, Mojo & Grace Lee), a variety show: "Willing Willy" (with Willie Revilliame), a showbiz talk show (Paparazzi) and a nightly (successful) podcast called Good Times with Mo: The Podcast.
Mo Twister earned his popularity by speaking his mind. his morning show featured topics that were "taboo" to the conservative filipino audience, but instead of people turning the dial, they tuned in every morning from 6-9 am.
now with his podcast, its more sensational than EVER. Mo is joined by Dr. Gan Montenegro and a various array of guest celebrity co hosts.  each night they tackle ANY question a caller may ask.  It's exciting to hear what celebrities think about subjects such as love, relationship, family and SEX (which is still pretty much reserved in the still conservative Philippine culture).  what makes it more interesting is that, they can be themselves without having the restrictions of regular radio.  they can speak their minds, cuss if they want to, say things like clit, dick, ass, pussy,fuck and what have you. its no holds barred full on UNcensored, unadulterated advice.  
i know you're wondering, why i said that Mo was the bearer of the ugly truth.  He says it as it is, plain and simple,  he doesn't sugar coat it.  it may hurt, but you have to hear the truth.  if you called the podcast (or the radio show) saying you have a problem in the bedroom, he won't hesitate to ask you details about it and then he'll give you his two cents about it.  JUST don't get offended to what he says.  he may call ugly chicks ugly and fat guys fat... he's just stating the truth.  he doesn't give people false hopes, but he lets them know that there might be something better for them out there aside from the stuff that people (think they) want.  Mo is not for the faint of heart, seriously!! if you're the type of person that gets offended easily or crumbles like a cookie, you're better off listening to something else.  if you can't take jokes, puns, slurs or curses...don't download his podcast.  Mo's words are for those people who are ready to face the world head on, those who have accepted that life is not a movie, it may be shitty but that's how it rolls.  its for those people who are mature enough to accept that someone has to speak their mind for others to take action or to listen.
Mo, his radio show and podcast basically inspired me to make this blog.  I was one of those people who USED to get offended easily.  I actually hated hearing his voice in the morning. But listening to him every day helped me realize that life isn't all that i thought it was.  i had to suck it up and move on.. there's so many things to do in this world than to sulk and wallow.  BTW..i am now PRO REVENGE (LOL).
like his radio shows, my blog is downright uncensored...i'll tell you how it is. i won't tell you about the birds and the bees, but about sex..thats how ugly its going to get.  i will tell you what you're boyfriend/girlfriend can't say..but you can ask them and they'll say church .  and that's the ugly truth...

congratulations Mo on the successful podcast!:)

check out his blog www.motwister.com.
Good Times with Mo, Mojo & Grace Lee on Magic 89.9 Mondays - Thursdays 6-9am.  you can see him on Willing Willie Mondays - Friday 6:30-9:00pm and Saturdays 5:30-7:30pm on TV5, Paparazzi Sundays 3:30pm, and Good Times with Mo: The Podcast Monday - Friday 10:30pm - 12mn or download it from iTunes.

Boyfriend's guide to: Chick Flicks

it's a saturday night, your girlfriend has decided to stay home and watch a DVD.  since you have nothing better to do, you go over her place and spend quality time together... LO and BEHOLD she's watching THE NOTEBOOK. 

you wanted to dash out of there like The Flash, but she's already coiled to you like an anaconda.  so what do you do?

how do you survive a chick flick night?! 

• First of, guys -- watching chick flicks won't make you less of a man!! seriously?! and crying will not turn you gay.  having a softer, more compassionate side makes you more endearing in our eyes... i bet if your girl sees your cry over TITANIC she'll cuddle (and cry with) you like there's no tomorrow.

• don't be rude and tell her "i can't watch this $#!^".  you're already there, just try to seize the moment you have with her.  sit through the movie, ATLEAST get the gist of what you guys are watching.  YOU KNOW she's going to ask you questions after & you'll have a bigger problem IF you can't answer it.

• don't fall asleep...and don't give that "I'M UP..i just closed my eyes".  Don't lie. If you doze off, tell her "Sorry.  whats happening?" or "can you keep me up to speed?" and she'll gladly tell you or go back to the parts that you missed

• If and when she keeps you up to speed, make sure to LISTEN!! so she won't give you that upset look and you'll end up just trying to woo her all night...there goes your "Bedtime Story".

• do not make a move on your girl in the beginning part of the movie, she'll just shoo you and make you watch it like a hawk... she knows that you're just trying to get her attention and your motion will be DENIED!! DO NOTkeep on trying to make your move, you'll just get disappointed and even more pissed.  TIMING is your best friend in this situation.... when you see the leading lady and her beloved either acting like they're doing "IT", about to or just having a romantic moment..thats the time when you give your girlfriend a smooch and your plan MIGHT actually work and you can kiss that movie goodbye (no pun intended).

• Give the movie a chance.  Maybe you'll like it and learn new cheesy lines for the next time you fight or a new romantic idea for "nothing's day" (yes, it's an actual day for girls). AND maybe you'll get a little gift at the end of it for just sitting through the movie. AM JUST SAYING..LOL you'll never know. 
  
  

• IF all else fails...remember...more often than not there is a RAIN/WET T-SHIRT or Half Naked woman scene! MOST chick flicks have the hottest and most beautiful stars in the industry for the lead roles, so you know your eyes will be BUSY.
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so the next time your girl asks you for a movie night, don't insist on that new action flick  out on DVD, instead tell her you'd watch whatever she feels like watching. and she'll be happy to have such a sweet and sensitive boyfriend, that she MIGHT even consider, not watching at all!!:D

Open up...it won't kill you!! 

Girlfriends guide to: Gifts

since valentines is around the corner, i decided that my first post will be about GIFTS.
by now, you must be going way over your head thinking what to give him for valentines... sure it won't be as elaborate as that Technomarine watch you gave him for christmas or the iPad for his birthday, but you still feel the need to give him something for this special occasion.
at one point or another, we have made one of those "homemade, personalized, from the heart, cheesy" gifts.  spent all our extra hours making a shirt with you & your beau's face on it or that framed - cross stitched wall decor with your names & the date you guys got together...  we put our heart and souls in making the gift.  and on the gift giving day, he opens the box and VOILA...he picks up the gift and gives you that FACE. you know what am talking about..and he says "wow baby a shirt with our faces in it...thanks i love it." but you can see it in his eyes..that "what the hell am i going to do with this?" or "am not showing my friends this". and thats when you ask them.."you like it? i spent all my time making it" -- (GUILT!! very powerful).
as time goes by, you ask your beloved -- "where's that crossed stitch thing i gave you for your birthday?" and then you'll see it in his eyes -- he's about to lie through his teeth ... "Oh..Its hidden in my room, so that i won't lose it" -- ALERT ALERT -- it is now a DUST COLLECTOR.  it's probably in the farthest most corner of his closet, still in the same box where you put it in.
GUYS -- i know you'll tell me...but "WE ACTUALLY REALLY LIKED IT"... YEAH RIGHT?!!? there's a difference between liking and appreciating.  yes, you've appreciated the thought and effort, but you won't use it or tell your friends "Hey, my girlfriend gave me a shirt with our faces on it for christmas.." Get real!! you're not even going to wear it to save your life.  You would rather get that CoD: Black Ops or a razor...
GIRLS -- why do you do it? because thats what you want your boytoy to do. you're basically telling him.."hey i did this for you, maybe you could return the favor?"  we love the effort and the thought, it "brings out" our man's softer side...and so we thought. unlike the boys -- we WILL wear it to the mall or out with friends.  We'll even show it off...we thrive on these things..

how to determine what to give your man?

• first of, be observant, when strolling in the mall -- make sure to notice every glance or every comment he makes.  i'm telling you now he knows what to give you (for valentines, your birthday, anniversary & next christmas) by just doing that.  listen to the stuff he tells you as well... he might say in passing that he's thinking of getting this or that...thats already a green light ladies.
• next, look around his car or room (if you haven't filled it with your stuff yet), see what he likes..his hobbies or interests.
• then, go to the internet and research on some stuff that is related to his interest.  for example, if he likes the CHICAGO BEARS (NFL) then better get him a jersey or anything related to the BEARS and not a TEDDY BEAR..(you're giving him a gift, its not the other way around). 
• but "he has everything" I DOUBT IT!! not even bill gates, steve jobs or mark zuckerburg has everything.  research, you'll most definitely find something.  if you REALLY REALLY REALLY  can't find anything... it's the time to be CREATIVE..and am not talking about those cheesy gifts..seriously girls..stop it!!  if you're boyfriend is into the PITTSBURGH PENGUINS  (NHL), find him a nice, high resolution picture of the pens off the internet and get it printed on a tarpauline...  if you have the magical hands of Da Vinci, make a picture of the whole team or the car that he wants in the future.  It's personal but not cheesy.

you don't have to give expensive gifts, you just have to keep in mind its for someone else ... NOT YOURSELF. Be Practical....not delusional!!