strike a conversation. you hit it off and then they tell you that he/she just broke up with their partner or that they were just dumped... that should be a big sign to STAY CLEAR of this person.... YES..he/she's single, BUT more or less still very hung up on the ex. they might not be emotionally available to carry a potential relationship.
if your goal was just to have sex with this person..GO AHEAD by all means. this person might jump you in a heartbeat even if you're the ugliest human being on earth..they're very vulnerable at this stage.
If you are attracted to this person to the point you're actually contemplating on a potential relationship -- that's where we're in a bind.
this could go wrong in a couple of ways for you... you might become:
- FISH BAIT -- this person could be luring you to make the ex jealous. this is a classic. when the ex is finally jealous and asks the person back -- that's it for you buddy.. game over.
- ASPHALT -- you know those black things that cover the bumps on the road? yep... that's who you are at this point. he/she is trying to show the world that they're happy and not hurting inside. masking all the real feelings
- ATM -- yep...they're just after you for the money. they just need some benefactors. someone to buy them anything they want or to drive them all over the place.
- AIRPORT -- basically a lay over. you're the person that will help him/her move on and then they'll move on without you. sooner or later they discover that they don't REALLY want to be with you and looks for a person that (usually) resembles the ex.
- FRIEND -- hhmm..well..do i still have to explain? they're just in need of a shoulder to cry on. this is usually for guys. you might think that there's something going on between the two of you, but sorry to say..you're still in the friendzone.
- ASS -- (for girls) yep, just a piece of ass that they can just hump on call. they have to release all that bottled up jizz somewhere. will do the next available stupid person.
how to avoid this? here are SOME of the basic stop signs:
- when this first word that comes out of their mouth is -- "MY EX and I just broke up". shake his/her hand and run away as fast as you can. if they don't have feelings for the ex thats not the first thing that they'll tell you.
- if he/she can't stop talking about their ex -- you'll be stupid if you think there's hope there. if your entire conversation has atleast 25% stories about their past relationship..still very much hung up & you should hang up on this person too.
- "aaww..thats his/her favorite" -- whatever favorite stuff we're talking about here, there shouldn't be any kind of reaction towards that.
- still wearing any kind of reminder of the past relationship -- wedding ring, engagement ring, necklace, earrings, pin, shirt, shoes...this only means that they haven't really moved on. i know that they'll give you some kind of excuse, but believe me..its all crap!! (i have personally given a thousand excuses before)
- still have the exs picture in their phones/facebook/room -- you're just plain dumb or downright stupid if you believe any crappy explanation this person gives you.. "but i look good in that picture" seriously?! you have a billion pictures in your facebook and you only look good in that one? if they really want to, that picture was taken down the moment they broke up.
- the ex is still on speed dial -- they can be really good friends but still he/she shouldn't be on speed dial.
- "i hate him/her. he/she ruined my life" -- any sort of anger is a sign that the person is still hurt. the only way you'll get hurt is when you have feelings for this person.
some people may say that i am very cynical, but trust me am not. i've been on ALL sides of this equation. i more or less know how each person feels. as the person who is falling in love with someone who is technically NOT available, you can always be there...BUT make sure that you stand your ground and set some boundaries. never let your guard down, or else you'll just end up on the curb.
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